Forbidden Lives
by Bombsquad
Summary: Friendship, Compassion, Love, those were the things she gave. Now she remembers none of it, and the agony of that may be more than those closest to her can handle. KuramaBotanHieiOC centric.
1. Hiei

Disclaimer; I don't own anything in the Yu Yu Hakusho universe. I own other things, fun things, but no rights to Yu Yu Hakusho. On with the story.

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Oh, btw… 

Hiei and Kurama, both straight.

Botan, gay.

Yuri…or Girl/Girl relationship here.

No Lemon or Lime, just allusion to them.

'R' rating is because of the mature themes presented and the dark plot. Got a problem with mature themes, move on.

* * *

**_Forbidden Lives_**

_Hiei_

If you asked him, Hiei would never admit to emotion...he'd probably kill you for annoying him with such a question. Even if you were someone that he considered a frie-...no, strike that. Even if you were someone whose presence he tolerated with something approaching, warmth, he would ignore you at the least...and probably 'hn' if he felt particularly generous. Hiei had always been the kind of demon who played things close to his chest, that independent rogue that didn't have a family, didn't have close friends, didn't even have simple friends or colleagues. He had acquaintances with varying degrees of usefulness. And perhaps a nemesis or two whose skills he could admire and abilities he could respect. But even for Hiei, someone whose outlook on life was black and white, there was a shade of gray there, and that gray was beginning to have more and more people in it.

Of course, Yukina was his sister, he would never admit the fact to her however. Perhaps that was the easiest relationship that a human could equate within Hiei's mindset and myriad...acquaintances. He did have duties, responsibilities...concerns about Yukina, he would do _anything_ for her, he'd gotten the Jagan so he could keep an -erm- _eye_ on her, so to speak.

Kurama...ah, Kurama had been the closest Hiei had ever considered an equal. Not a friend, but a confidant, someone who he respected and valued. The human Kurama was as sly and cunning as the Youko Kurama of legend. And even as a human, the sly fox was still a master thief. Hiei had much to value in Kurama.

Yusuke, Yusuke was a foe. No doubting that. But he was decent, and he was strong. A...challenge to be had, even if he and the detective found themselves on the same side more and more often. Be it by choice or design, for now Yusuke was an opponent who could not be fought without...inconvenience.

Kuwabara. Ungh, idiot. Ugly idiot at that. Idiot who couldn't be killed because Yukina found him amusing. How...annoying.

Botan? Chirpy, bubbly, happy, chipper and upbeat. Oh, to count the ways you anger me...

But as much as Hiei would deny having friends, the list of those who he would consider...closer than normal, always seemed to grow, ever since he'd met up with Kurama. Although even to any of them he would never admit emotion too, there was one, one very new to him that...perhaps, in a very generous mood he would go as far to say was...closer to him than anyone. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, let alone her. He'd never admit what he was feeling right now to anyone, _anyone_, even if it was _her. _Even if she was the only person that he would ever admit was a friend.

Grief. So painful to him because it was so...alien to him.

He couldn't run from the memories that he had of this city, the memories with her...so he had run to the only place that was easiest to disassociate from her. He'd flitted from place to place, trees, streets, parks, stores, he'd simply found it too easy for his mind to wander back to memories, memories that fit the description of being happy...Gods..._happy memories_. He'd run, run from all he could and found himself here, standing atop the tallest building he could find, half completed, a skeleton of steel girders and construction equipment stretching down thirty stories below him. The night wind was blowing hard, whether it was because it was so high, or because of the dark clouds that were blowing towards him across the night sky didn't matter. It was windy. Hiei's eyes gazed about at nothing particular, try as he might, he couldn't help but look at the glittering lights below, bright jewels in the dark velvet of night. It seemed a reverse view of the earth, stars below, darkness above. His balance was precarious, the beam was thick, but something kept him from feeling that calm center that was so natural for his demon self.

One knee bent, then the other and he lowered him self down, his hands gripping the sides of the beam for stability before he made his way to one of the vertical, uncompleted beams that stabbed upwards toward the dark sky. He settled his back against it and almost felt himself return to a normal condition...but something still gnawed at him, unbalanced him, unnerved him. Hiei took a deep breath of the cool air and absently smoothed his robes, trying to blank the memories from his mind.

Or at least think of something else, but he just _couldn't._ No matter what he tried he could not _forget_. She wasn't someone who you could forget, even if you wanted to, even if you fought to.

"Damn you Koto..._damn_ you." Hiei said, but the words had no malice behind them. He couldn't summon rage or anger. Instead, as they were carried away by the wind, something else tempered his words. Sadness, that kind of helpless sadness that a child feels when a beloved pet dies. A sadness that you feel when someone you love is gone forever. Or when you lose your best friend, and you know in your heart that you'll never find anyone like that again. Never find someone who you feel so close to, a confidant, a trusted person who knew all your secrets and you knew all theirs. And even greater was that sadness that came from knowing that you had a hand in pushing them away.

Hiei brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. To say that this kind of meek, withdrawal was unlike the battle hardened Jagenshi was a profound understatement. It was a supreme indulgence for him, a secret indulgence that he could only have here, far away from anyone who could see him...and for reasons that only _he_ knew. Hiei lowered his head onto his knees and sat there, not saying anything else. Just letting the wind whip around his body as he sat there, truly and wholly alone once again, willing that something, _anything_ would take that suffering away from him.

"Koto...why? _Why?_ Why did it have to be this way?" Hiei asked the wind, raising his head up. If someone saw him right then, they'd swear that the short demon was on the verge of tears. Working valiantly to refrain from crying but none the less, about to start sobbing.

And they would have been right.

Hiei leaned his head back and looked up at the black sky, somewhere off in the distance, a bolt of white lightning ripped through the heavens. The demon looked towards the horizon when he heard the rumble of thunder far off. The skies had responded to his question, but their answer was unclear. Hiei snaked one hand through his robes and reached for the two trinkets from the human world that he kept. His hand fell upon the gift first. The slender shape of the blade was unmistakable to his fingertips and he pulled it free. She'd made the knife for him herself, a talent and hobby that she had. It wasn't a combat blade, not for someone with a demon's strength or speed, or demonic enemies. For a human it would do quite nicely as a weapon, but that wasn't were the true craftsmanship of the weapon lay.

It was a balisong, or butterfly knife as humans called it. Easily concealed and in the hands of an expert, faster to draw than any other kind of knife. She'd carved out two halves of the handle from ivory and meticulously etched the intricate designs that served the dual purpose of providing a grip for the holder and giving elaborate ornamentation to the handle. She'd even inlaid gold leaf into the deep groves, outlining two halves of a dragon on each side of the handle when the blade was exposed, when closed it was just a convoluted series of golden etchings. The blade was wavy and double edged, forged from stone-cutter grade steel and polished to mirror finish, the edge gleamed in the faintest light.

The small weapon felt heavy in Hiei's hand as he held it up in front of his eyes. He didn't need much light, but the gold glittered in the faint light, then gleamed brilliantly as a lightning bold lit up the darkened sky. With a pair of crisp clacks he flicked open the knife, feeling a fresh wave of misery as he remembered the first time he'd attempted the move. He'd had to slow down his natural motion considerably, but that wasn't what had made it difficult.

Doing it was what made it difficult. That was almost funny to him, _almost_. She'd thought it was hilarious. Gods, she had giggled her head off every time he'd tried and caught his fingers in the blade. Clack-clack-'oww'. Clack-Clack-'oww'. For an entire hour as he tried to mimic the motions that she'd done so effortlessly. Absently he ran a thumb over the back of his right index finger where a small stripe of white scar tissue remained, in spite of his normally exceptional demon healing abilities.

Another memory of her that lingered.

Hiei flicked the blade closed and then open again in rapid succession before looking at the mirror finished blade. He gazed into it and looked away…he couldn't even look himself in the eye, any of them. He flicked the blade closed and reached back to toss it away, but froze. His eyes looked down at the elegant carving and inlay. Solemnly, the diminutive fire demon tucked the blade back into the folds of his robe. Then grasped the other mortal trinket from inside his robe, a photograph. Hiei felt as if his hand was moving of it's own accord, ignoring the pleas of his mind that tried to will it to stop. He didn't want to see that picture, he didn't want to see her again. He didn't want to see the side of himself that she brought out of him.

He shut his eyes firmly, blanking out his mind and focusing only on the blackness. He didn't want to see her, to see that face again. And yet, something inside him demanded that he see it again. Slowly, through a supreme force of will, Hiei pried his eyes open and forced himself to look at the picture. Another lighting bolt gave him a brilliant momentary flash of light to look at it again.

Another of Koto's hobbies that she'd taken up because it looked interesting, knife making, drift racing, customizing cars…heh, ballroom dancing and playing the violin were among the list. Of course, the first two were the ones that she'd drug him into and he'd actually enjoyed…funny how leaping from rooftops and battling the most powerful demons and monsters imaginable could seem less interesting than hurtling down a mountain road in the passenger seat of Koto's customized Mitsubishi with six other racers vying for the lead, and no prize beyond the right to say that they were the fastest.

It was of the garage/workshop that she'd set up, the walls filled with racks of tools and equipment whose purpose he'd only guessed at, despite her repeated explanations. The center of the picture was her car, painted in a garish combination of white and yellow, with some pink highlights and neon, he'd always shaken his head at the sight of it. They were both in the picture, sitting on the hood, looking at the camera in identical poses. One foot up on the front bumper, right sleeves rolled up, flexing their biceps. Both showing off their tattoos.

The black dragon on his right arm curled out from beneath the white sleeveless shirt he wore under his black robes, several black grease marks staining it. He was wearing a yellow headband instead of his white one. Another of Koto's little gifts that he had. She had done the best she could to make him her unofficial 'mascot' at races…but the yellow headband was as generous as he got with changing his outfit. Although he always wore it whenever they were at Koto's little garage. He was even smiling. Not smirking, not grimacing, not sneering…smiling…he'd been _happy._ Genuinely happy to be there with her, and it could have only been expected, she was his friend after all.

With a final bit of effort he forced himself to focus in on her. Hiei almost shed a tear…almost. He snapped his eyes shut, forcing himself not to cry. He could still see her, emblazoned on the back of his eyelids.

Koto was by human standards…and perhaps by demon standards, gorgeous. Hiei knew that from the number of times that he'd seen human males flirting with her, and attempting to belittle him, thinking them lovers and not just friends. Of course, it hadn't worked out very well for them considering that her preference was for females as well…

She was taller than he was, able to lean on the hood of the car, rather than sit on it as he was doing. Her legs were long and had the smooth grace of a runner's. She was wearing a short pair of white track shorts and a yellow top that was cut into a mid-rift, revealing her pierced navel. Her upper body had little muscle definition, but she was most certainly described as athletic. Koto's tattoo, on her right arm as well, wasn't a dragon like his. It was a phoenix wreathed in flame.

She was smiling as well, although it was in a silly-tough way, she was trying to mimic the normally stoic face that he had. Her short cut ice-blonde hair was held back from her eyes by a pair of sunglasses pressed high up on her forehead. Spots of grease adorned her hands and arms, and there was even a spot on the tip of her nose…the same one she always seemed to have when she worked on her car.

Koto had said that the picture was for her, but when she finally had it developed, she'd pressed the frozen moment in time into his hands and smiled.

"It's for you Hiei." She'd said.

"Why?" He had replied, studying the image before looking at her.

"Because you're my friend, and I want you to always remember me." She had said and hugged him in that way he always hated. When she would scoop him up and hug him so that his feet were dangling off the ground. He fidgeted for a moment and then hugged her back, the picture clutched in his hand. When she set him down, he looked at the back and read the little note she'd penned on the back.

_Hiei, you're a one of a kind and I know we'll always be friends. -Love, Koto_

That was when he'd told her everything. The truth about who he was, what he was. Everything he'd done, what kind of person he was, everything…even Yukina. That was what had started this. That was what had set that ball rolling that had ripped Koto Miuki, that wonderful person…that wonderful _friend_ from his life…

No…

Not just his…

For everything about this that hurt, for all the pain that had come of this sordid chain of events, Kurama's loss…Botan's loss…those were far worse than simply losing a friend, no matter how much it hurt him. Kurama had lost someone who he cared about as a sister, someone who meant almost as much to him as his mother.

And Botan…

Botan had lost something even more precious than that. She'd lost love.

That hurt, perhaps not as much, but it still _hurt_. To Hiei, that was far from being the punishment that he felt he deserved. But he could do nothing, he couldn't bring himself to do anything other than sit there, holding that picture, pressing one hand to his face, and willing himself not to cry.

Try as he might, one single tear defied him and rolled down his face. Taken by the wind into the dark night.

* * *

Next Up: Kurama 

Kurama sat in the darkened room. His green eyes locked on the sleeping figure that lay in the bed. He rested his interlaced fingers in front of his face and waited for her to wake, waited so he could admit the horrible violation that he had committed against her. Perhaps it would be some small way to atone for what he'd done, but he knew that he had done his work too well, the memories were gone.

But for him, they remained vivid and would never leave him.

_A fitting punishment for me… _He thought bitterly. _Although a torture neither Hiei or Botan deserve._


	2. Kurama

Kurama

Blood trickled down Kurama's fingertips. A deep crimson that was darker than his soaked hair cascading down his shoulder blades. He pulled his arm back and smashed his fist into the glass bricks again. They had cracked and shattered long ago, but blood had smeared the shards that remained from his punches. The blood ran down the wall, aided by the damp in the shower and spiraled away into the drain. Kurama stopped, the anger that he felt not ebbing away in the slightest. He dropped his arm to the side of his body and let his bloodied hand drip. The water was almost scalding hot, but he was oblivious to that. His forehead was resting on the glass blocks that made up the wall of the shower, the bloodied shattered one letting in a small cool breath of wind. The blocks were cool, but warming, the water that pounded his shoulders and ran down his back and sides was a sharp contrast to the cool that brushed across his chest.

In fact he was oblivious to just about everything that was going on in the physical world. He'd shut his eyes long ago, attempting to block out the lingering traces of what had happened such a short time ago.

"Koto…Hiei…Botan." He muttered their names and his apology again. He'd lost count of the number of times that he'd said sorry to her sleeping form, to the dark sky, and here in the steamy heat of the shower. He'd tried to say other things, think other things. But nothing seemed worth saying, he didn't have the willpower to say anything else. Kurama knew that the apology was nothing, it meant nothing, it was worth _nothing._ Not to him, not to Hiei, or even to Koto…and especially nothing to Botan.

Without thought, Kurama drew his fist back and smashed it into another brick. The glass shattered and his clenched hand passed through the spot effortlessly. More blood seeped from a gash along the top of his hand and he could see the white of his ring finger's knuckle. He held the hand up and let the water wash away the stain. He flexed his hand a few times and knew that the wounds would heal up quickly, they always did. The physical wounds always did, probably because they hurt the least. There were injuries greater than these, far greater.

"Why did I do it? Why did it have to be this way?" Kurama asked quietly. He knew that there were answers, he knew what the answers were, but part of him couldn't face them. The _human_ part of him couldn't. The demon in him was far more blunt that the human could ever be. He'd betrayed Koto…all because he'd been ordered to. Kurama couldn't decide if it was fear or loyalty that made him do it. Betrayal was still betrayal, whether it was for the right reasons or wrong.

Kurama straightened up and smoothed his crimson hair in the cascade of water. He'd washed long ago, only remaining in the stinging spray out of some twisted sense of pittance.

_You did it Shuichi_. _You _know _you did_. Kurama heard Youko's voice whisper in his mind, hidden in the dark recesses of their shared soul. That demon voice was the brutal honesty that he'd been avoiding with failing ability.

"I know, but I don't know why Youko." Kurama whispered, willing the voice to remain silent. He didn't want to deal with this now.

_I know exactly why Shuichi._ Exactly_ why._ Youko replied, and instead of sounding condescending or insulting, Youko sounded…consoling?

"Then _tell_ _me_ damn you." Kurama snarled. He knew Youko wouldn't even blink at his anger, but Kurama didn't care, he was angry, angry in a way that he had never been before.

_To protect her._

"What?" Kurama asked, shocked. "How in Kami's name is that _protecting_ Koto? I stripped her of her memories, four months of her life are gone Youko. She'll never have it back."

_And how did you erase it Shuichi?_

"Dream Flower Pollen, the same thing I used to make Maya forget about Eight hands and her feelings for me. I knew the proper way to utilize it." Kurama replied.

_Exactly. And you are as much a herbalist as I. _Think _Shuichi._ Youko said.

"I'm aware it has an antidote Youko. But that is far from being the problem."

_Ah yes, your new…masters. _Youko replied, and that was condescension in his voice. Kurama remained silent. He didn't know how to answer. True, he did have loyalty for Spirit world, but that was more because of Yusuke and Kuwabara than devotion to serving Spirit World. As everything went, the only reason that he'd done what he'd done was that he'd been protecting his human family. Stealing the Artifacts of Darkness had gotten him into this whole unseemly affair. That had gotten him involved with Yusuke, who he owed much to for helping him save his mother. Then the Saint Beasts, and finally the Dark Tournament. Hopefully that would have been the end of it all, if not for Koto, then perhaps he could have left spirit world behind.

"I have no master." Kurama whispered back, finally.

_Then why did you do it? You believe it was to protect her…but from who?_

To that Kurama had one answer; "Koenma…"

_Very good. Now let's keep going with that thought. Why would that arrogant little god hurt Koto? _

"He wouldn't have done it deliberately…but, inadvertently."

_How so?_

"Erasing memories is not easy, the pollen is the safest…if not the most discretionary method…"

_Yes…now, think more…why _did_ her memory need to be erased?_ Youko whispered in Kurama's mind, the voice sounded almost like a professor reasoning his student towards the logical conclusion of a problem. Kurama grimaced.

"Because she knew the truth. About Hiei, about you and myself, about Botan. We told her what we were, that we weren't all exactly human. We told her everything about Spirit World, Demon world and everything associated with our duties. She knew, and she was forbidden to know." Kurama whispered, biting back a tear. Yes, Hiei had told Koto everything about himself, the long and sordid litany of his life. But he hadn't said a word about Kurama and Youko, or about Botan, or Spirit World for that matter. It was again Kurama's fault for explaining what _he_ truly was, along with explaining what Spirit World was. Those admissions had led her to confront Botan, and from that…it had only been a matter of time, no matter how secret they had been.

_No, you miss the point Shuichi!_ Youko shouted. Kurama flinched at the sudden change of tone.

"What do you mean, that is the reason Youko." Kurama replied.

_What other _normal_ humans known about Spirit World? Know what you are? What Hiei is? What Botan is? Who else is in on the secret?_ Youko asked, prodding.

"Well, Keiko, and Shizuru…" Kurama murmured.

_Yes…now why do they know?_ Youko pressed.

"They were told…" Kurama said, and trailed off, shocked. The answer was something that he didn't want to think of.

_They _were _told Shuichi…but why do they still remember?_

"Their memories weren't erased."

_Why not? What made them different? Their situation is exactly the same as Koto, being close to Yusuke and Kuwabara…just like Koto was close to You, Hiei and Botan…_

Kurama leaned on the vanity to keep from collapsing, he was still naked, and the cool air seemed to be robbing him of what strength this debate was consuming. He rubbed his face lightly and turned to the mirror, wiping away condensation and staring at his reflection. His own green eyes peered back at him, tinged with the gold of Youko creeping around his pupils. He closed his eyes and looked away quickly.

_Admit it, you know the answer Shuichi._ Youko said sharply. In response, all Kurama shook his head, forcing himself not to respond.

_You _know_ Shuichi!_

"We aren't human! Not me, not Hiei, not Botan, none of us are truly human." Kurama shouted. The declaration deadened in the close confines of the bathroom. Kurama opened his eyes and looked into the mirror, it had fogged again. He wiped a streak clear and gazed at his reflection once more. The gold was receding from his eyes.

_Very good. The truth is worth knowing Shuichi. Even if it hurts. _Youko said, his voice seemed distant.

"Thank you Youko." Kurama said softly, and the gold in his eyes was gone. Kurama dried himself off, and dressed. Then left the bathroom and walked down the hall to his bedroom. Inside it was dark, but a faint light came from a small flickering candle sitting on the nightstand. Beside it rested two things, a picture and a single rose. In the bed, Koto laid there, tossing and turning slightly. Kurama grimaced.

Dream Flower Pollen wasn't normally used for such a long period of time. There was always a chance of adverse effects, even if it was far safer than psychic methods of erasing memories. He'd decided that none of the more dangerous effects was happening to Koto, but the process was unpleasant when such a long period of time was being erased. He didn't want to chance something happening to her and not being there to help…not after he'd administered the pollen.

Quietly, he pulled up a chair and sat down, lacing his fingers together and looking at her sleeping form. Kurama sat in the darkened room. His green eyes locked on the sleeping figure that lay in the bed. He rested his interlaced fingers in front of his face and waited for her to wake, waited so he could admit the horrible violation that he had committed against her. Perhaps it would be some small way to atone for what he'd done, but he knew that he had done his work too well, the memories were gone.

But for him, they remained vivid and would never leave him.

_A fitting punishment for me… _He thought bitterly. _But far worse a torture than Hiei or Botan deserve._

Kurama reached out and took Koto's hand as she lay there. Softly, Koto whispered Botan's name. He winced at that and let her hand go. The sleeping woman whimpered quietly at the loss of contact. That seemed to hurt more.

"I'm sorry Koto." Kurama whispered.

"Kur-ama…Shuichi…" Koto said in her sleep. Kurama sighed and closed his eyes, blocking out the scene. But rather than allowing him anonymity, his mind drove back to that moment of betrayal.

There was a palpable feeling of despair in Koenma's office. The diminutive Lord of the Underworld sat behind his desk, brooding. Hiei stood by the window, looking out across the Makai…silent as usual, but he had an unmistakable air of anger about him. Kurama stood next to Koenma's desk, looking down at the floor…his own mood brooding and quiet. Botan leaned against one wall, her face in her hands, sobbing.

Koenma's desk beeped once and he nodded, hitting a key. The tall doors facing him opened and in walked Koto, being escorted in by Yusuke. The Spirit detective said nothing as he led Koto in, and quickly turned and left…his face clearly showing how distasteful he considered this task. Koto seemed to be simply dazed by the entire situation, she was trying to look in every direction at once and take in everything. She had not been completely ignorant of everything that she was seeing, but it was still shocking to see everything at once.

Wearing blue jeans and a black turtleneck, she looked like she'd been simply scooped up of the street.

"Koto Miuki. I'm sorry to have to bring you here, but certain things are…problematic…" Koenma said. Koto stared at Koenma after looking at Hiei, Kurama and Botan, she focused in on the diminutive Lord.

"You're…Koenma, right? Lord of the Makai?" Koto said.

"Yes, now, you've been brought here because certain things have been told to you, and clearly justified by your visit here. You've been made aware of the Spirit world, and the true identity of these three. Unfortunately, your knowledge cannot be allowed."

"Excuse me?" Koto said, surprised.

"You aren't allowed to know what you know. It's quite simple." Koenma said, his tone harsh. Hiei shifted slightly where he stood and Koenma looked over at him, then slowly turned back to Koto.

"I can't know? Well I do know, and there isn't much I can do to forget…" Koto said sharply, but trailed off when Kurama frowned and Botan looked at her with red eyes. Koto turned and ignored Koenma and walked over to Botan. The two embraced tightly and Botan buried her face in Koto's shoulder. The two stood there in silence for a moment and Koto looked over at Kurama. He refused to meet her gaze. She then looked over at Hiei, and the diminutive fire demon looked at her over his shoulder. His face had an unusual expression of pity on it, before he turned away.

"There's nothing you can do. But Kurama will make you forget." Koenma said and snapped his fingers. Kurama's head snapped around and glared at Koenma.

"Your command here is tenuous enough Koenma. Do _not_ provoke me." Kurama snarled, and Koenma seemed to shrink deeper into his chair, attempting to make himself more insignificant than he already was.

"Shuichi, Kurama…why? How?" Koto said, squeezing Botan tightly. The blue haired apparition started crying again.

"Dream Flower Pollen. It's effective, but unfortunately not very specific." Kurama said, holding up a small closed pouch.

"Not specific? You mean…" Koto said, softly.

"You'll lose your memory from when I got back from the Dark Tournament. You'll forget what we are, and meeting Hiei and Botan. It's…for your own…good…" Kurama said weakly.

"But…can't I simply…just…forget what you told me? Just the week?" Koto asked.

"No." Koenma said bluntly. Kurama and Hiei looked at him, neither spoke, but Koenma felt the hatred coming from both of them.

"Then let me say goodbye." Koto said with a growl. Koenma nodded slowly. She let go of Botan and walked over to Hiei. The short demon said nothing but turned and looked up at her. Koto smiled when she noted he was wearing the yellow headband she'd given him. She smiled and knelt down, putting them eye to eye. She wrapped her arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides and lifted him up off the ground. Hiei fidgeted slightly, but didn't fight. Kurama couldn't hear what was said, but Hiei smiled lightly. She set him down and turned to Kurama.

"I love you like the brother I never had." She said. Kurama winced at her words, but her expression did not one of anger.

"I'm sorry Koto…" Kurama began, but was silenced.

"Shuichi…Kurama…you are my friend, my brother. We'll still have that, I can't hate you, _you _of all people. Human or Demon. You were there for me…after it happened…you were my friend in School. Your family was there for me when my parents died. I was there for you when your mother was so sick, and I was there for you in other ways. We'll still have that won't we?" Koto said, a weary smile crossing her lips.

"Yes we will Koto…" Kurama said.

"Then we have that Shuichi." She said, hugging him. When she let go, she turned to Botan. The ferry girl stood there in her pink kimono and choked back another sob. Koto walked over and hugged her again, the two women holding onto each other as though it were the last time…it _was_ the last time for them. Kurama turned his head away and glanced at the floor once more, fighting to retain his own composure. He glanced at Hiei, but the fire demon had turned his back to the room again and was staring out the window once more, brooding. Kurama turned back when he heard Botan sob loudly. He saw Koto slowly let go, holding onto Botan's hand desperately.

"Koto…" Kurama said, lifting the small pouch holding the pollen. She looked at it and nodded, closing her eyes. He frowned and stepped forward, dumping the small amount onto his palm. The pollen was grown for a specific potency, amount meant little, it was how the plant was grown that mattered. Normally, such an amount would make everyone in the room lose their memories, but this strain of pollen only worked on humans, demons and apparitions weren't effected.

Gently, he lifted his hand up and Koto breathed in the pollen. She started to blink quickly, as if struggling to stay awake. She slumped slightly, and then staggered. Kurama reached forward and held her. Dream Flower Pollen was just that, a dream inducer. She was about to fall into a deep sleep. Koto fell into him and he picked her up, turning towards the door to leave.

"Koenma…" Koto said softly. Kurama stopped and turned, her head lifting enough to look at him.

"What is it?"

"If I remember anything…I'll come back here and kill you for doing this to _them_ not to me…" Koto said, a final burst of energy filling her before her body went entirely limp. Kurama turned away, but still heard Hiei's soft chuckle.

"You…you did the right thing Kurama…" Koenma said quietly, his eyes still riveted on Koto.

"I don't care Koenma. You've used up any control you had over me." Kurama snarled, his voice grating and harsh…very close to Youko's tone. So close in fact that Hiei turned from the window and looked at the crimson haired demon. Botan fell silent and looked up as well, shocked into silence.

Koenma said nothing.

"If you ever…_ever_…ask anything of me again, I will kill you." Kurama said, and looked back over his shoulder at Koenma. Kurama's eyes were golden, with only the barest hint of green running through them. Youko held nearly total sway over him then.

"I owe you nothing, I owe Spirit world _nothing._ And you had best remember that." Kurama said, and walked out of the room. Behind him Hiei turned and walked away, his glance towards Koenma conveying the same unspoken sentiment. He walked over to Botan, and in what might be considered completely uncharacteristic of him, he quietly led her out of the room, leaving behind Koenma to the silence.

Kurama opened his eyes, gasping for air like a pearl diver who'd gone too deep. He looked down at Koto, who was still laying there, tossing about slightly. He straightened his hair and leaned back in the chair, content to wait and try to figure out just how he could explain a friend she would never know and a lover who she had forgotten forever.

And perhaps wonder just how willing he was to defy Spirit World and give her back what was rightfully hers.

* * *

Next up;

Botan

She was too tired to cry anymore. To hurt to feel anything…she simply felt hollow, robbed of something deep and passionate, something all consuming. She'd given up justifying what had been done, she'd given up trying to blame anyone for what had happened. All she could do was accept, and even that didn't dull the pain…it seemed to make it cut harder into her soul instead.

A few weeks ago, she hadn't even understood what true love was…and now she was painfully aware of what loosing it felt like.


End file.
